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Where Does the Fawn Response Come From & How to Recognize if This is Your Default Response...

Writer's picture: Rachel Brandwene, LCSWRachel Brandwene, LCSW

“Fawning” – it’s usually used to describe people who bend over backwards to please others. But where does this fear-based behavior actually come from?


When we experience a stressful or traumatic event, the fear response kicks in and it can lead us to “fawn” over others in order to try and survive. We become overly agreeable and too passive, hoping that these behavior patterns will help protect us from any danger. This can often lead to patterns of anxious and even disempowered behavior that can negatively affect our self-esteem and mental health.


However, the good news is that we can overcome these negative behaviors with the help of somatic work. Somatic work involves deep physical and emotional exploration and understanding.

By exploring our physical and emotional states in a safe space, we can become aware of any fear-based triggers that might lead us to “fawn” and gain tools for navigating these emotions and developing healthy coping mechanisms.



Here are 5 questions to help you ask yourself to help you recognize if this is your default response:

  1. Do I put my needs aside to make others feel better?

  2. Do I feel empty in relationships after giving too much of myself?

  3. Do I avoid conflict at all costs?

  4. Do I feel everyone’s emotions all at once?

  5. Do I think I am responsible for making everyone happy?


If you feel like you’ve been stuck in a pattern of “fawning” behavior, somatic work might just be the right step forward. We’d encourage you to reach out to a therapist or health care provider who specializes in somatic therapy, so you can take control of your emotional wellbeing. Thanks for taking the time to learn more about this fascinating topic, and we hope you find the help you need!


Book a connection call by clicking HERE to find out which survival response you dominate in with your attachment style!

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Rachel Brandwene, LCSW

4847 Hopyard Rd. Ste 4-244

Pleasanton, CA 94588

7901 4th St N Ste 300
St. Petersburg, FL 33702

rachel@rachelbrandwene.com

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I'm a licensed therapist & somatic practitioner dedicated to helping you uncover and heal the root of your unhealthy relationship patterns, particularly fears of abandonment. Using evidence-based tools, I guide you in understanding and responding to your unique nervous system needs, enabling you to build secure relationships where you feel safe, seen, and heard enough to express yourself without waiting for the other shoe to drop.

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