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  • Writer's pictureRachel Brandwene, LCSW

Attachment Wounds, Sh**ty Relationships & Taking Back Your Power (With Somatic Experiencing!)

Updated: Apr 18

Let's face it, bad relationships suck. Whether it's the constant anxiety in a confusing "situationship" or the deep hurt from a past love, these experiences leave a mark. But here's the kicker: it's not just your thoughts causing these patterns. It's your body holding onto the trauma!


Those early connections with caregivers shape how we connect with others. But when those connections were broken, we end up stuck. We might attract unavailable partners or feel like we're constantly walking on eggshells. Thinking your way out won't work.  These patterns are rooted deep in your body, and that's where somatic experiencing comes in.


Somatic experiencing isn't your average therapy. It's about feeling your way to healing. You get the opportunity to focus on the physical sensations trapped in your body from those past experiences.


So, how do you break free?  Somatic experiencing offers a toolbox full of powerful tools:


  • Pendulation:  Ever feel like you're stuck in a rut? Literally move your body out of it! Pendulation involves gentle rocking or swaying. This movement helps release pent-up energy that might be keeping you stuck in those negative patterns. Think of it like shaking off the cobwebs!

  • Titration:  Those uncomfortable feelings can feel overwhelming. Titration is like chipping away at a big rock. We'll gently explore those feelings in small bits, so you don't get flooded with emotion. It's about dipping your toe in the water before jumping in the deep end.

  • Resourcing:  Life isn't all doom and gloom! Resourcing is about tapping into positive experiences and feelings of safety. Maybe it's a memory of a loved one, a peaceful place you visited, or even a feeling of strength you possess. By anchoring yourself in these positive resources, you can navigate those tough emotions with more confidence.

By understanding your body's signals, you can learn to set healthy boundaries, break free from those toxic patterns, and finally attract (or create!) the fulfilling relationships you deserve.


Ready to ditch the drama and build healthy connections?  My course, Reconnect, takes a deep dive into these tools and guides you through your own personal healing journey using somatic experiencing techniques. Drop a comment below with "RECONNECT" and I'll send you the link.


Remember, this isn't about erasing the past. It's about learning from it and stepping into a future where you feel empowered and in control. Let's heal those attachment wounds and build the connections you crave!


Make sure you're following @healwithrachel for more helpful content like this!

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